Talk City

3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do

Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing.

Then something awful happened to me....

I had to take a job dealing with the public. My worst fears came true and I had to make small talk with a whole range of people each and every day.

I found it difficult, tedious and nerve wracking.

Eventually after a lot of trial and error I got the hang of it. And today I find it easy to do and even enjoyable.

You can do the same when you learn a few key distinctions:

1. Understand that the purpose of small talk is not to exchange information.

It is a game you play to find things you have in common with the other person.

Decide to be intensely curious about the other person and go fishing for what you have in common. When you are genuinely interested in other people they will respond positively to your questions and to the way you listen to what they have to say.

When you take the pressure off yourself to be a great conversationalist and become a detective searching for commonality the conversation tends to take care of itself.

Why'

Because people like people that are like them.

The more commonality you discover, the more the other person will like you and feel as if they have known you for some time.

This in turn causes the conversation to flow.

2. Give first to encourage sharing.

If all you do is ask questions the other person will feel as if they are being interrogated.

That is not the idea!

Be prepared to reveal something about yourself first without getting too personal.

By sharing first you are leading the way and cause the other person to feel obligated to return the favor.

Sharing ......

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