Anger and Your Driving: Using Self-Talk to Create Safer
Avoiding The Sales Talk Sledgehammers There is a saying that when all you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. The underlying idea is that .....
Date: January 28, 2001 Place: Fashion Island, Newport Beach, California The incident: Jane, a middle aged professional woman had an altercation with another woman who accosted her after she refused to give up her parking spot.
Jane clearly reached the coveted spot first, but the other woman asked her to move, explaining she was 20 minutes late for a doctor's appointment. At first, Jane thought it was a joke, but before she knew it, the two women were tussling on the concrete.
Most people feel angry in situations when someone making outrageous requests of us. This is because our brains are 'hardwired' to react with anger when we are frustrated or when obstacles prevent us from reaching our goals.
Aggressive driving behavior is due, in part, to a breakdown of an individual's internal control of their emotions in public places.
Other common driving frustrations and irritations that often cause angry feelings and weakening of control include being:
Gaining control of our emotions ' and more importantly, our behavior ' is often a matter of finding a way to change our perspective or vista of the situation.
Frequently, what we tell ourselves is so automatic that we don't even realize what it is we are thinking; yet, our thinking patterns are what make us more angry or calm us by changing how we experience that which is frustrating us.
Example 1: Getting cut off. Someone triggers anger by cutting you off in traffic; you automatically tell yourself things like 'What a jerk; he has no right to do that to me; I'm going to get even; he did that to me on purpose; why does he disrespect me like that' How dare he do that to me, etc.
Self-talk alternatives: Instead, try changing your self-talk to:
-I can stay calm; he might be a dangerous threat to me.
-I'm sure it is not personal; he is cutting me off because he is stressed and in a hurry.
-I'm not going to radiate and stoop to his or her level; there are many reasons for his or her behavior; maybe he just phoned his boss who said he would get fired if not in the office in the next ten minutes or he may be reacting to family responsibilities.
Benefits of your new perspective:
-Increased tolerance and more understanding of possible reasons for the other driver's bad behavior.
-Resolve not to make his or her problems your problem. (Remember: ......
